
Monday, March 2, 2009
A Simpleton...and Lovin' It!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Satire

I have yet to come across a TV junkie who doesn’t think that The Simpsons is one of the best shows of all-time. It screams brilliance every minute. I can even foresee a day when ‘simpsons’ is incorporated into english dictionaries, as a word that best describes genius satire. Or the day when ‘satire’ is defined in dictionaries as ‘The Simpsons’. Err…you get the point, right! Even though the verdict for the most popular character on the show is out and out in favour of Bart Simpson, I can’t help but love the fact that Homer Simpson just is. His stupidity quotient can only be matched, and surpassed, by the one and only: George Bush Jr. (Why can’t we stop missing him?)
Three other animated shows I’ve enjoyed over time have been, Beavis and Butthead (for sheer dumbness or dubya-ness), The Family Guy and King of the Hill. But none ever got close to the kick and the thrill of The Simpsons. Till…
…till The American Dad. Its been running in the
It tracks the life of CIA Agent, Stan Smith, his right-wing philosophies of
Some memorable quotes:

[Stan brings home a baby to replace Hayley when she moves out]
Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?
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Francine Smith: We're so glad you could make it. Where's your wife this evening?
Bullock: Handcuffed to a radiator in Fallujah. She wanted to come, but I do not negotiate with terrorists. Hey, do I smell meat loaf?
Hayley Smith: You know, Steve's dog would still be alive if you right-wing lunactics would agree to gun control.
[pauses]
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Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Rome - Part II

Monday, January 26, 2009
Say No to Yoga
Months back, there were reports in the papers on the "yoga controversy" in Malaysia. Muslims, it argued, were in danger of being corrupted by elements of Hinduism: the chantings of "Om". While it is to be appreciated that Islam is a strictly monotheist religion and Hinduism is not, and Muslims, by their faith, are required to steer clear of the very spirit of polytheism or atheism in their activities, this is utterly absurd. In 7th century Arabia, Muslims were asked to get rid of curtains bearing images in their homes, because polytheism was rampant in the society, and even though while offering their obligatory prayer, they were not bowing in front of these images, it was advised that they needed to leave no doubts about their belief. This obviously meant that in times when they weren't issues of concern, pictures, images and statues were taken for what they were - pieces of art - but certain kinds of Muslims a.k.a mullahs, have insisted otherwise. Hence, the declarations that pictures are haram (forbidden) in Islam; hence, the firing to dust of Buddha excavations in Afghanistan; hence, the menace of the Taliban.Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Movie Marathon

Saturday, January 3, 2009
Load-Shedding: Shed It
Pakistan is in the dark. Literally. The load-shedding bug is still a far cry from being treated. After all, shortage created over a long period of time doesn't just wither away in the blink of an eye, especially when infrastructure - dams and other power projects - is either lacking or left idle. Of course, it becomes very easy to blame the government. And of course, bad-mouthing employees of local grid-stations has also become a favourite past-time of yours truly. Bad, very bad. I can blame them for not being organized in defining cut-off hours (you never know when they'll snatch away the power supply, so it becomes hard to plan chores and activities), but I can't blame them for being the vampires, having to suck our cities out of light.- Always switch off lights, fans and air-conditioners when you're leaving a room;
- Replace bulbs with energy-savers wherever possible;
- Do not put appliances on stand-by (televisions, dvd players, laptops, desktops etc.) at least, over the night. They use about 10 per cent of electricity in that mode; so imagine how much can be saved when trillions of these are collectively switched off everyday. Frantic computer users can put their machines on sleep mode, if shutting down is too cumbersome;
- Switch off plugs once your mobile phones and other such appliances are charged. One does have the tendency of leaving the switch on indefinitely;
- Experts say that washing machines use the most energy. So wait till you have a full load ready to run, and use cold or warm wash, instead of hot wash because the heating process consumes a lot.
- And try to sleep early! (I missed this one tonight.) The earlier you sleep, the earlier you switch off lights, television sets and computers. Who knows, you might even strike the jackpot, you healthy-wealthy-wise citizen-o-da-world!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Frustrations
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Stop Israel
The strong Israeli lobby in the US is a secret to none. The US government seems to want to act when Mumbai happens, but it keeps turning a blind eye to what goes on in the Middle East, day in and day out, and in fact, perpetrates the same in Afghanistan and Iraq. They then sit back, pretent to ponder, hold elitist conferences at exotic locations, trying to find out why September 11 happened. The world, at large, keeps questioning why all "terrorists" are Muslims (I must thank them for at least acknowledging that all Muslims are not terrorists, however!).
Friday, December 26, 2008
Beg Your Pardon
By Maryam Javaid
Beggary is a problem in the third world, but perhaps, not of the third world alone. Our streets, traffic signals, markets, parking areas and all public places are inundated with beggars of all ages. It is becoming increasingly difficult to sit and wait in the car while a friend rushes to a nearby shop to grab a video. Instantly, there are knocks on the windows. If you dare to ignore, insults are hurled. It is also no hidden fact that there are mafias in action, in our cities. They kidnap little children or bribe those from poorer families, handicap them by severing their limbs, and have demarcated areas where only their beggars can operate. Anyhow, this is a view from Lahore. Here's what a friend has to write about her experiences in Karachi. (Saadia)
The city has been invaded! We’ve been taken over by unnatural forces and there doesn’t seem to be a way out! We are doomed! I’m talking about “the attack of the beggars” (apologies for not being politically correct).
Along with the many major changes that have been happening to the city, including the dug up roads, bad traffic, and the very expensive water fountain that works only when it wants to (sorry, but still can’t get over that), the sudden bombardment of beggars is astounding.
One of the worst things that can happen to a car owner is having to stop their car at a road side, anywhere, for any purpose. Be it to get some groceries, stepping out for dinner etc, or being stuck in traffic, there is no escaping these creatures. Men, women and children of all shapes and sizes, appear at the side of your window, out of nowhere and start their well-rehearsed monologues. Sometimes it is disheartening to see the number of people down and out, but mostly it is just plain irritating. While deciding whether to give in to their miserable stories and help them out to buy a few more trips to junkie-Ville, or to stare off into the distance in order to ignore them, its always mind-boggling to note this sudden breakout.
A relatively new trend is the washing of the cars’ windshields etc. The amount of will power required to keep one’s self from running over these people – who very nicely take it upon themselves to clean your car, whether u like it or not – is exhausting. A year ago, this was a new phenomenon executed chiefly by men only, but now there has been an onslaught of women and young children in this line of work too.
However, the tactic that I find most entertaining and interesting is what the little boys and girls of Zamzama and Khadda market are pulling. Cute little one-liners in English have been given to these children, in order to con any unsuspecting parties. Dialogues like, “what’s up nigger?” and “please baji, don’t break my heart, buy one flower” are all designed to dupe people, especially the gullible and easily amused (I plead guilty), successfully. However, whatever mechanism that is at work behind this façade is very cunning. They manage to snap the people out of their reverie and get them amused enough to happily hand their money out to buy dirty flowers in even dirtier packaging.
Thus, the pessimistic view, humbly put forward, is that it seems that begging, in new forms or old, is here to stay. The attack cannot be countered as they are the masses with the weapons of our destruction – their outstretched hands. So, what is one to do? Well, I, do what most people would. I start the car, put on my shades and hum to the tune of Shahzad Roy’s “zindagi maut na ban jaaye”, making sure that my defences are in check – the bored, impassive facial expression – just in case I’m struck unexpectedly.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Missing Person, No Reward
December 25 does not just mean Christmas for Christians in Pakistan. It is a national holiday here because it marks the date of birth of the 'Father of the Nation', Muhammad Ali Jinnah. For me, personally, it calls for solemnity, everytime I think of my - now late - grandfather. They say, great people are born on the same day!
So, I'll just say a little about why I've been missing. If anybody here has ever wandered over to my profile, it has always been saying: "Not single, not looking. Unemployed, and looking." So yes, I have been chronically unemployed since graduation - partially owing to choice, and partially, to circumstances. However, thanks to a dear cousin (hello, Rabeea!), I've been given the chance of working on a project. It lasts for two months, but what is important is that it is! I had forgotten what organization in life was. I had forgotten the value of passing time meaningfully, and not just looking for endless ways to kill it, which, by the way, I have now excelled at, to the point of considering opening up a consultancy for the unemployed: of course, I'd advice them to stay unemployed and kill time. Killing is a human instinct - one just needs to send it sniffing in the right direction. Suggestions: time, mosquitoes, killers, poverty...
Ah, the project! I need to design a course on Microfinance for both undergraduate and postgraduate students. I've been told there's not a single one being offered on the subject at this time, in Pakistan. So it is exciting to be a part of this initiative taken by the Pakistan Microfinance Network. Has anybody here personally had any kind of experience in the area? It'd be interesting to hear you out.
And my back hurts now, after excessive hours of using the laptop with a bad posture. Aaaa-tichoo!
Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik
Friday, November 28, 2008
Plagiarism and two steps forward
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Mumbai Under Attack
Although we do not know anything about the attackers as yet, a group going by the name of the 'Deccan Mujahideen' has assumed responsibility. The common men and women on the streets, need to join hands during this time of trial. They must not fall into the terrorists' trap. A couple of pieces, concerning the on-going debate in India on 'Hindu' and 'Muslim' terror, were published in the Hindustan Times, just a couple of days back: Majority Appeasement and Our Terror, Their Terror. Do read, because India needs to focus on unity right now.Tuesday, November 25, 2008
A Glimpse of the Northern Areas of Pakistan...
Monday, November 24, 2008
Islamophobia
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I-am-sterdam

Its architecture, driven by tax laws at the time, dates back to the seventeenth century. An ode to a rough policy (no offence): since they were taxed based on frontal footage of their houses, homeowners stumbled upon distinctive architecture. They built their townhouses deep and tall; what they couldn't afford in lavish measurements, they made up for with almost vertically-placed staircases. Up, up and up we go, the streams running gently down below. Yes! That part about the step-sibling, Venice. Amsterdam, too, has got its water, weaving an intense web of mud-coloured canals. Like its big sister, cars aren't that popular in the city. While boats and gondolas remain the face of the Italian princess, the Dutch-ess is an impressive rival with its exuberance for bicycles and trams.
We were, admittedly a bit iffy on the accomodation. Amsterdam is quite straining on the pocket, especially if you're a budget traveller, who wants to stay in the centre of town, steps away from the station, and because you plan to abuse your Eurail Pass as often as you want to.
While I'm writing short of recommendations for tourists (I might mull a travelogue to delve deeper), my point is: Amsterdam is unique, it is vibrant and electric (some would say, not children-friendly), young but every-inch European, and in my experience, a most underrated destination.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
My New Deodorant

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Guest post: In Praise of Nothingness
Monday, November 17, 2008
Pakistan's Polio Fatwa

Sunday, November 16, 2008
Shining India?





