Showing posts with label saadia malik. Show all posts
Showing posts with label saadia malik. Show all posts

Monday, March 2, 2009

A Simpleton...and Lovin' It!

A couple of months ago, we tried a new restaurant in the city. Well, not so much new as new-to-us. My husband and I loved it. He loved what he ordered, and I loved the stuff on my plate. A couple of other people had highly rated the food there too. So, on my sister's birthday last week, I recommended that we all dine there. And we did. She didn't like the entrée I had so fondly recommended. Why? Because she is a cooking-show addict, which means that she can pretty much disect the ingredients of anything cooked, baked, boiled, poached...it just has to be edible. Her biopsy revealed to unwitted food-lovers such as myself, that the chicken was merely grilled in ordinary condiments; no special culinary skills backed it up, and there certainly were no signs of marination. The sauce was a simple mixture of this, that and those. Hence, not special. Bottom-line: the recipe has to be special for the restauranting experience to be fulfilling. Shucks! I didn't have the guts to say 'yummy' after that.

Are connoisseurs of this, that or those ever able to enjoy this, that and those? Just something that I've been thinking about.

Do film critics ever really enjoy a film, just for the heck of it? Doesn't it always become a matter of study for them? Is it well-directed? Is the cinematography technically correct? How can he realistically do that? Isn't her reaction too frothy for the story? Is it weird that most Oscar-winner movies aren't as entertaining as they are different? When will a movie like The Dark Knight get the accolades it deserves? Why can't such a movie ever be nominated for the Oscars?

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik
Image credits: passingstorm.com

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Satire

I have yet to come across a TV junkie who doesn’t think that The Simpsons is one of the best shows of all-time. It screams brilliance every minute. I can even foresee a day when ‘simpsons’ is incorporated into english dictionaries, as a word that best describes genius satire. Or the day when ‘satire’ is defined in dictionaries as ‘The Simpsons’. Err…you get the point, right! Even though the verdict for the most popular character on the show is out and out in favour of Bart Simpson, I can’t help but love the fact that Homer Simpson just is. His stupidity quotient can only be matched, and surpassed, by the one and only: George Bush Jr. (Why can’t we stop missing him?)

Three other animated shows I’ve enjoyed over time have been, Beavis and Butthead (for sheer dumbness or dubya-ness), The Family Guy and King of the Hill. But none ever got close to the kick and the thrill of The Simpsons. Till…

…till The American Dad. Its been running in the U.S. on Fox TV since 2005, but has made its way to Pakistan through satellite only now, or perhaps I’ve been slow to discover. Have you? What do you think? Viewer response has been good, but generally, the other four are rated higher. I fail to understand!

It tracks the life of CIA Agent, Stan Smith, his right-wing philosophies of America under-threat, his admiration for George Bush Jr., the Patriot Act and Karl Rove. Hilarious! Of course, it is satire, so all doves out there should enjoy the thrashing that the Republican Party and its obsessions against anybody remotely outside their white American bubble, gets on the show. [Disclaimer: I hope y’all aren’t sensitive to exaggerations and stereotyping, sport!]

Some memorable quotes:

[Stan brings home a baby to replace Hayley when she moves out]

Roger the Alien: Is that a Chinese baby?

Stan Smith: Sure is! Japanese, to be specific.

-----

Francine Smith: We're so glad you could make it. Where's your wife this evening?

Bullock: Handcuffed to a radiator in Fallujah. She wanted to come, but I do not negotiate with terrorists. Hey, do I smell meat loaf?

-----

Hayley Smith: You know, Steve's dog would still be alive if you right-wing lunactics would agree to gun control.

Stan Smith: You know what I have to say to that?

[pauses]

Stan Smith: Ah, I thought I was gonna fart.

-----

Stanley Smith: Why can't you take a page from that bitch Hillary Clinton and let it go?

-----

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Rome - Part II


Our second day in Rome was dedicated to the Vatican Museums. People often mistake St. Petersburg and the Vatican Museums with Vatican City itself. That is not the case. Vatican City is the smallest country in the world - the size of a room - entrance to which, requires a separate visa. I think it'd be safe to say, "Don't bother trying!"

St. Petersburg did not boast as much grandeur as the aura it generated. Memories of the much-loved, John Paul II resonated, the only one I had witnessed all my life, waving to a sea of devotees, from one of the balconies. The huge columns, lined up in concavity, were distinctly Roman, but I still insist that the entire package was not too captivitating (...unless of course, they hire me to write a review for eager travellers). My first reaction to the Swiss Guards (watching over the Pope's personal safety) was how anybody else would react. They say they come highly trained, but their uniforms spoke another story. A cutting right out of Jumbo's circus, is what I'm implying. The museums themselves were very captivating. Although I've heard that Paris' Louvre is the biggest museum in the world (?), the Vatican Museums are far more taxing on the legs and indeed, on time. For one, you need to walk a considerable distance after getting out of the subway to reach its entrance. For another, you can conveniently pick and choose galleries you wish to visit in the Louvre; that is not the case here, especially if you want to take in, Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. And believe you me, you want to take it in, you want to take it all in. The Romans are a proud people. They are not humble about the history that backs them, about the art they have treasured and they definitely are not shy about scolding you should you make an attempt to try and tell your friends, "I saw the Chapel!" From the moment you enter the Vatican Museums, they keep telling you that the Sistine Chapel is just ahead. In no time, it starts feeling like an endless trail; as if you're in a jungle and you feel like somebody's playing a prank on you, or as if you're in Oz and stuck in a maze. It simply isn't around the corner but they'll insist that you are soon to witness history. I think it took us more than a 100 minutes to finally enter that historic hall, where Michelangelo took four years - lying face-up on scaffoldings, painting frescoes onto the ceiling - which is worth every strain your calf muscles take to reach it. We weren't artists; heck, we weren't even amateurs, but we could see how special it was.

The beauty of it is that one can explain it in a way that ordinary folks can visualize the spectacle, and connoisseurs of art can wink at how cute and sweet you and I can make it sound. The painting generated a three-dimensional feel about it. As if all the people and the objects were extending out of the womb that was the ceiling; as if all the people and the objects were generating shadows from the blue skies surrounding them. No sooner do you get over-whelmed and try to sneak out your camera, that an usher splurges rough Italian on you. I fear some sensitive souls might even have cried at the rude, offensive scoldings. No sir. Photography is not allowed. I recall that back in '89, we weren't allowed to photograph Mona Lisa at the Louvre. In 2008, we were. So one hopes they can answer the aspirations of a million tourists - some having saved every penny to be where they were, wanting to capture a glimpse of their experience. (Click on the picture to see the enlarged image. It is understandably blurry...but I dared!)

For those who are keen to read more about it, here's an excerpt from 'Europe for Dummies', which comes highly recommended by yours truly (others can skip it):

The pinnacle of Renaissance painting fills the ceiling and end wall of the Sistine Chapel. Originally, Pope Julius II hired Michelangelo to create a magnificent burial site for him, but then he switched the artist to another job — painting the chapel ceiling. Michelangelo at first balked at the request, saying that he was a sculptor, not a frescoist, but eventually he agreed to work on the ceiling.

After four years of arduous work, the frescoes were unveiled. Michelangelo had transformed the barrel-vaulted ceiling of the chapel into a blueprint for the continuing development of Renaissance art, developing new means of depicting the human form, new methods of arranging frescoes, and new uses of light and color that painters would embrace for generations to come. He covered the Sistine ceiling with nine scenes from Genesis (the fingers-almost-touching God Creating Adam is the most famous) and ringed these with figures of the ancient prophets and sybils, with nudes in contorted positions that show off brilliant attention to human musculature.

The walls of the chapel are covered by wonderful frescoes from earlier Renaissance biggies including Signorelli, Botticelli, Pinturicchio, Perugino, Ghirlandaio — all works that would command attention if they weren’t under such a fabulous ceiling. In 1545, at the age of 60, Michelangelo returned to the chapel to paint the entire end wall with the Last Judgment — a masterwork of color, despair, and psychology.

A couple of days later, in Florence, we made our way to the Accademia Gallery to see another marvel by old pal, Michelangelo: David. I've heard some people say that the sculpture looks quite distorted, but we were in awe of that too. So we decided to pay our respects to the great artist - buried in Florence's Basillica de Santa Croce. But for some strange and odd reason, it church was closed that day!

So back to Rome. The house of tombs was a must-see though a tad spooky place to visit, right next to St. Peter's Basillica. Pope John Paul II was being mourned by most visitors. A sobering experience.

We took the evening that day, to visit the Pantheon - another powerful ancient building in Rome. Had gelato ice-cream from a recommended ice-cream joint - one out of a million - in a nearby, pebbled street, and hated it. To the bins! Took a bus to see the Colosseum at night, and bought a tripod for the camera, from a Bengali vendor, for about 8 euros!

Photo credits:
Sistine Chapel: Mine
Swiss Guards: http://www.birchimages.co.uk

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Monday, January 26, 2009

Say No to Yoga

Months back, there were reports in the papers on the "yoga controversy" in Malaysia. Muslims, it argued, were in danger of being corrupted by elements of Hinduism: the chantings of "Om". While it is to be appreciated that Islam is a strictly monotheist religion and Hinduism is not, and Muslims, by their faith, are required to steer clear of the very spirit of polytheism or atheism in their activities, this is utterly absurd. In 7th century Arabia, Muslims were asked to get rid of curtains bearing images in their homes, because polytheism was rampant in the society, and even though while offering their obligatory prayer, they were not bowing in front of these images, it was advised that they needed to leave no doubts about their belief. This obviously meant that in times when they weren't issues of concern, pictures, images and statues were taken for what they were - pieces of art - but certain kinds of Muslims a.k.a mullahs, have insisted otherwise. Hence, the declarations that pictures are haram (forbidden) in Islam; hence, the firing to dust of Buddha excavations in Afghanistan; hence, the menace of the Taliban.

Likewise, it makes no sense that Yoga should be forbidden to Muslims, but our clergy, border after border, is now beginning to wake up to these unending rays of enlightenment. The latest buzz is a ban on Indonesian Muslims. I say "these" because previous trendsetter rays have set high precedents. Much earlier, though I can't say when exactly, a decree by the authorities-that-be, declared that a Muslim woman couldn't practise - yes - yoga, because that would require her to wear pants in the company of other women, which could "lead her to have lesbian sex".

Muslim men and women are also recommended not to spend time together needlessly and without a third presence, except in the case of spouses or unmarriageable kin. Flirtations are looked down upon in Islam. But an Al-Azhar cleric has, like his "cell-mates", without effort given fodder to the mischievous to humiliate his religion. He has found an ingenious way to allow marriageable men and women to sit together, alone, in private, without guilt, and - wait for it - without chances of promiscuity. The woman can breast-feed her male friend, which would make her unmarriageable to him, having achieved an instant certificate of motherhood.

On a very serious note, I am not surprised that the average person feels disgusted at the thought of religiosity, or believes only in humanism for religious ritualism does not make anybody a better person. True, it doesn't, because it has been hijacked by feeble-minded fools who alone are responsible for giving Islam a bad name. And these kinds exist in all religions. I'm only quoting from the Muslim world lest somebody else feels insulted or doubts my intentions. I have only one thing to say to the disgruntled man of faith: Religion encourages reason!

Photo credits: http://www.healthspablog.org

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Movie Marathon

Internet problems and "a routine" (for a change) have kept me from the blogging world, for what seems like months, not days. The crazy routine apart, I'd been using my internet-free hours as a chance to catch up on a long-list of some must-watch movies and some random ones: The Great Debaters, Ghajini, RNBDJ, The Accidental Husband, Taken, Revolutionary Road, Slumdog Millionaire. It was an unusual run. I can't write off a single one of these, except maybe RNBDJ, for the simple fact that it is stupid and has an irritating lead actor! For a very deserving review, see Tazeen's blog.

Ghajini - Aamir Khan is as flawless as an actor gets. People may argue that Shahrukh is an extremely over-rated actor and a rather monotonous one at that (I agree) or that Amitabh Bachchan is all about the voice (I disgaree), but there has hardly ever been vivid criticism of the first big Khan on the block: Aamir, and understandably so. He is not only a commercially bankable star but a critically acclaimed actor too. He was honoured by the Oscars for his debut venture with Lagaan, as a producer, and in the capacity of a director for the classic, Taare Zameen Par while it continues to go places. It is quite natural then, for people to want to talk about Ghajini. The verdict of cinegoers has been "outstanding". It has been declared the biggest hit of an otherwise sombre 2008 for the Mumbai film industry. However, and unfortunately, the script seems to have its weaknesses. For one, it is predictable most of the time; for another, the climax of the movie converts the protagonist, Sanjay (Aamir) with an extremely overtoned body, into a superhero; machismo is a given by now. The accuracy and speed with which he alone fights bouncers hurling themselves at him is fun to watch - as he continues to walk, floating punches, left, right and centre - but hard to believe...till he reaches the man he's out go get all along: Ghajini. This, the man who requires protection by tens of ghundas eventually gives our superhero a fight for his life. Typical.

The Great Debaters - Denzel Washington probably is to Hollywood what Aamir is to Bollywood. So quality is to be expected. The movie is based on a true story of a black professor in 1935, urging his negro students to discover their worth, and prove their mettle through the world of debating. They're even pretty good at convincing you to resort to civil disobedience, so you need to watch this movie for a very powerful experience. The team goes on to argue for equal rights for blacks, coming up with astounding debates, white college after white college, to the point that Harvard recognises the power of the suppressed and invites Tolson's (Washington) cadres over for a final match. From the civil war (where blacks were burnt alive by mobs of white chauvinists) to the times of Obama...

Slumdog Millionaire - Talking of mobs, Slumdog Millionaire raises the issue of Hindu right-wing mobs attacking the Mumbai slums, oscillating a similar response - one of an uprise - from the victims albeit the story of one Jamal Malik. Read Id's and Haq's blogs. The movie just won a Golden Globe, as did A. R. Rahman for his music for the movie. The maestro has given great music for SM, but his genius is so much more evident in scores given in the past, so two words, "Well Deserved!"

Revolutionary Road - Talking of the Golden Globes, this movies too was a candidate for the best motion picture award. The best one won, however. But Revolutionary Road is a very off-beat, unconventional kind of a movie, and admittedly, takes time to grow on you. I had written it off in the first 20 minutes, but I'm glad I hung on. Don't watch it for its commercial value, because its got none! It brings together, Leo and Kate (who won the Golden Globe for Best Actress), for the first time after their eternal encounter in James Cameron's Titanic. Quite obviously, a second epic romance is not to be expected!

Taken - A very good entertainer on any given night. Liam Neeson keeps you on the edge of the seat for the entire 90-odd minutes of the movie. A spy. An abducted daughter. And the French connection! I must resort to some cliched appreciation: There is never a dull moment.

The Accidental Husband - If you've enjoyed movies - and continue to urge for light-hearted flicks - like One Fine Day, Only You, My Best Friend's Wedding et al, then this one won't disappoint. Machos would do better to steer clear!

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Load-Shedding: Shed It

Pakistan is in the dark. Literally. The load-shedding bug is still a far cry from being treated. After all, shortage created over a long period of time doesn't just wither away in the blink of an eye, especially when infrastructure - dams and other power projects - is either lacking or left idle. Of course, it becomes very easy to blame the government. And of course, bad-mouthing employees of local grid-stations has also become a favourite past-time of yours truly. Bad, very bad. I can blame them for not being organized in defining cut-off hours (you never know when they'll snatch away the power supply, so it becomes hard to plan chores and activities), but I can't blame them for being the vampires, having to suck our cities out of light.

We should stop wasting our time, blaming the government. They know the problem is there. Drawing-room talks and demonstrations will not achieve what needs to be achieved. They only waste the precious time of hundreds. If the will and grit is there, the men and women on top will help the country out of these troubles. Let us, for a change, focus on our ownselves, and how we can play a role - and a massive one at that. Two key words: Conserve and Energy. A combination of the two does not herald one benefit alone. Those are two-fold too. It also helps save the environment. Every switch pressed on, every appliance plugged, burns coals and stimulates nuclear power plants.

Consider this a public service message, if you may. But each one of us is capable of not just reducing our reactions to words in this matter; we can actually do something. More than our domestic routines, industry is suffering. A CEO of a well-established textile factory recently came on TV and threatened to commit suicide. The levels of worries and depression are on the rise. Machinery is lying idle, and it has become impossible to meet both local and international demand. Orders are not being delivered. This not only hurts the present, but the future of the country too.
  • Always switch off lights, fans and air-conditioners when you're leaving a room;
  • Replace bulbs with energy-savers wherever possible;
  • Do not put appliances on stand-by (televisions, dvd players, laptops, desktops etc.) at least, over the night. They use about 10 per cent of electricity in that mode; so imagine how much can be saved when trillions of these are collectively switched off everyday. Frantic computer users can put their machines on sleep mode, if shutting down is too cumbersome;
  • Switch off plugs once your mobile phones and other such appliances are charged. One does have the tendency of leaving the switch on indefinitely;
  • Experts say that washing machines use the most energy. So wait till you have a full load ready to run, and use cold or warm wash, instead of hot wash because the heating process consumes a lot.
  • And try to sleep early! (I missed this one tonight.) The earlier you sleep, the earlier you switch off lights, television sets and computers. Who knows, you might even strike the jackpot, you healthy-wealthy-wise citizen-o-da-world!

Please feel free to leave your own suggestions by commenting on the post. 

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Frustrations

Posts like this one are only meant to vent out frustrations. They don't serve any other purpose, but I think it still is important to have such an outlet. Please bear with me, because narratives aren't an art I excel at.

A genuine respect of time, honesty and commitment are three virtues sorrowfully lacking in our people.

Time.
First story: It is the marriage season and nine out of ten functions are conducted well into the wee hours of the night. The invitation cards usually say "9 pm" but even the hosts will tell you, if you care to call, to come just a little before midnight. I remember arrving at the venue for a wedding reception at the time stated on the card. No guest, no host, and no arrangements either. The caterers were setting up tents, unstacking chairs they had just gotten off the trucks.

Time and Commitment
Second story: I needed to have some important papers - in the thousands - photocopied, for which purpose, I had them submitted to a copier yesterday, early morning. I was supposed to get them later in the day yesterday. A visit to the shop, and no success. I was told to approach them early morning today. Once again, no success. Ma'am, come later in the day. So I went again, just a while back. Once again, the response was negative and there were no signs of an apology either. Instead, I was shocked to witness an 'I-couldn't-care-less' attitude. I've been told my prints will be available in two hours' time. Whether or not, that fourth visit will be worth its while, is anybody's guess.

Third story: I went to the tailor more than a week back, and I was told my clothes would be stitched and ready today. I went, and need I say more...

Time, Commitment and Honesty
Fourth story: Last week, while I was busy trying to burn a few calories, my faithful 3-year-old treadmill failed on me and halted suddenly, almost plunging me into a pain. So I called an electrician in the area - who I thought was an honest man. He disassembled the motherboard, the panel and the motor, and said that the stuff would need to be treated in his lab. He then called and said the motor needed fixing, which could cost me about eight-thousand rupees. I told him that that was unacceptable to me and that he should bring the stuff back, to which, he generously responded that he'd try and bargain with the technicians. Another call, and he had reduced my expenses by about two thousand rupees. I was still in shock and unwilling to budge. Eventually, we settled at Rs. 3500. A week later, he came over, fit in the equipment, and then announced that only 5 per cent of the work needed to be done for which, I'd need to contact the shop from where I purchased my machine. Thankfully, for me, better sense prevailed and I told him that he'd have to explain the problem to the technician before I could settle accounts with him; my maching still wasn't running so having no sense of engineering, I had no guarantee as yet. He was left with no choice. Today, finally, the two men came face-to-face and it turned out that he hadn't worked on any of the equipment, and what he had done with my motor was worth just a few hundred rupees!

Frustration.
Since the last two years, my parents have been recommending that we settle abroad - somewhere in the West - for we still have our lives to build. Depression and hopelessness have never victimized our people as they now are. Similar sounds are resonating from other households. Parents are beginning to send their children out of the country, and those who are already out, are being well-advised to stay put. I find it hard still. I can't leave my parents, as they age.

What can be done? Can people be taught the sanctity and importance of time? Can virtues like honesty be taught? Can commitment be inspired? It is scary but I think, no, no and no! What happens to a nation when ethics and morality not only take the back-seat but are crushed under the hood altogether?

It is already happening. Happy New Year?

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Stop Israel

I feel compelled to share this link with everybody here, out of a sense of duty and humanity. Israel has been exposed, time and time again, but to no benefit of the innocent victims, who can't send off their men to work or their children to school, not fearing for their lives. Blood and gore have entered and raped almost every household in Palestine. This page carries raw footage, so the faint of heart are discouraged from going any further.

The strong Israeli lobby in the US is a secret to none. The US government seems to want to act when Mumbai happens, but it keeps turning a blind eye to what goes on in the Middle East, day in and day out, and in fact, perpetrates the same in Afghanistan and Iraq. They then sit back, pretent to ponder, hold elitist conferences at exotic locations, trying to find out why September 11 happened. The world, at large, keeps questioning why all "terrorists" are Muslims (I must thank them for at least acknowledging that all Muslims are not terrorists, however!).

Do you leave these people a choice?


STOP supporting Israel, for the love of God. Israel and the US remember the mass graves fed by the Nazis, but choose to forget Ariel Sharron's puppetries.

Read:

Do you find hope in this photograph? 
Barack Hussein Obama and Edward Said

P.S. I support Mr. Martillo's work here.

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Friday, December 26, 2008

Beg Your Pardon

By Maryam Javaid

Beggary is a problem in the third world, but perhaps, not of the third world alone. Our streets, traffic signals, markets, parking areas and all public places are inundated with beggars of all ages. It is becoming increasingly difficult to sit and wait in the car while a friend rushes to a nearby shop to grab a video. Instantly, there are knocks on the windows. If you dare to ignore, insults are hurled. It is also no hidden fact that there are mafias in action, in our cities. They kidnap little children or bribe those from poorer families, handicap them by severing their limbs, and have demarcated areas where only their beggars can operate. Anyhow, this is a view from Lahore. Here's what a friend has to write about her experiences in Karachi. (Saadia)

Karachi

The city has been invaded! We’ve been taken over by unnatural forces and there doesn’t seem to be a way out! We are doomed! I’m talking about “the attack of the beggars” (apologies for not being politically correct).

Along with the many major changes that have been happening to the city, including the dug up roads, bad traffic, and the very expensive water fountain that works only when it wants to (sorry, but still can’t get over that), the sudden bombardment of beggars is astounding.

One of the worst things that can happen to a car owner is having to stop their car at a road side, anywhere, for any purpose. Be it to get some groceries, stepping out for dinner etc, or being stuck in traffic, there is no escaping these creatures. Men, women and children of all shapes and sizes, appear at the side of your window, out of nowhere and start their well-rehearsed monologues. Sometimes it is disheartening to see the number of people down and out, but mostly it is just plain irritating. While deciding whether to give in to their miserable stories and help them out to buy a few more trips to junkie-Ville, or to stare off into the distance in order to ignore them, its always mind-boggling to note this sudden breakout.

A relatively new trend is the washing of the cars’ windshields etc. The amount of will power required to keep one’s self from running over these people – who very nicely take it upon themselves to clean your car, whether u like it or not – is exhausting. A year ago, this was a new phenomenon executed chiefly by men only, but now there has been an onslaught of women and young children in this line of work too.

However, the tactic that I find most entertaining and interesting is what the little boys and girls of Zamzama and Khadda market are pulling. Cute little one-liners in English have been given to these children, in order to con any unsuspecting parties. Dialogues like, “what’s up nigger?” and “please baji, don’t break my heart, buy one flower” are all designed to dupe people, especially the gullible and easily amused (I plead guilty), successfully. However, whatever mechanism that is at work behind this façade is very cunning. They manage to snap the people out of their reverie and get them amused enough to happily hand their money out to buy dirty flowers in even dirtier packaging.

Thus, the pessimistic view, humbly put forward, is that it seems that begging, in new forms or old, is here to stay. The attack cannot be countered as they are the masses with the weapons of our destruction – their outstretched hands. So, what is one to do? Well, I, do what most people would. I start the car, put on my shades and hum to the tune of Shahzad Roy’s “zindagi maut na ban jaaye”, making sure that my defences are in check – the bored, impassive facial expression – just in case I’m struck unexpectedly.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Missing Person, No Reward

I've been away for almost a week, and it seems, nobody missed me! But the first thing I did when I logged onto my reader today was to go through my favourite bloggers' feeds to see what I had been missing. Thankfully, the internet fiasco seems to have contained none. We struggle and we toil, but we post. It is an addiction. The blogosphere is like a junction of a happy family, every member of which, loves to have his/her two cents spoken!

December 25 does not just mean Christmas for Christians in Pakistan. It is a national holiday here because it marks the date of birth of the 'Father of the Nation', Muhammad Ali Jinnah. For me, personally, it calls for solemnity, everytime I think of my - now late - grandfather. They say, great people are born on the same day!

So, I'll just say a little about why I've been missing. If anybody here has ever wandered over to my profile, it has always been saying: "Not single, not looking. Unemployed, and looking." So yes, I have been chronically unemployed since graduation - partially owing to choice, and partially, to circumstances. However, thanks to a dear cousin (hello, Rabeea!), I've been given the chance of working on a project. It lasts for two months, but what is important is that it is! I had forgotten what organization in life was. I had forgotten the value of passing time meaningfully, and not just looking for endless ways to kill it, which, by the way, I have now excelled at, to the point of considering opening up a consultancy for the unemployed: of course, I'd advice them to stay unemployed and kill time. Killing is a human instinct - one just needs to send it sniffing in the right direction. Suggestions: time, mosquitoes, killers, poverty...

Ah, the project! I need to design a course on Microfinance for both undergraduate and postgraduate students. I've been told there's not a single one being offered on the subject at this time, in Pakistan. So it is exciting to be a part of this initiative taken by the Pakistan Microfinance Network. Has anybody here personally had any kind of experience in the area? It'd be interesting to hear you out.

And my back hurts now, after excessive hours of using the laptop with a bad posture. Aaaa-tichoo!

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Friday, November 28, 2008

Plagiarism and two steps forward

Having just read the blog post, Readers Confess Online Sins, I was reminded about mind notes I had made some time back, to comment on a well-established industry within the internet: academic writing. 

At the very start of undergrad school, students are given special instructions on what counts as plagiarism and what doesn't. They are required to quote in parentheses or blockquotes, place footnotes and compile bibliographies. If that isn't a drift enough from high-school assignments, there are different kinds of citation styles to adapt to. Some disciplines and/or teachers demand the APA style, others the MLA, and yet others, the Chicago style of referencing.

In the past, more excruciating for the freshman was not writing the 5000 odd words, not protecting the intellectual rights of others, but doing it in the acceptable manner. Then, came online tools like the citation machine. If students were fond researchers, these facilities made life very easy.

Come the present, for many students, it is not just the citations that are a piece of cake, but the researching too. All that needs to be done is to google phrases like "buy papers", click one of the thousand results, and order your paper online. As simple as that! Google prides itself on coming up with the right kinds of ads for ad-sense but don't be surprised if the keywords for this post are spidered effectively to generate Academic Writing offers on this page (I don't endorse those!). Say goodbye to plagiarism. Our kind service providers will make sure that they write ethically correct papers for you. Yes, they are very ethical and particular about that.

And coming back to that post I was reading, of the 220 readers who took the poll:

54 percent said they've downloaded pirated content;
36 percent admitted to misrepresenting themselves online;
22 percent said they plagiarized Web content;
16 percent said they hacked into a corporate network;
6 percent said they've stolen someone's identity.

Have I ever downloaded pirated content? Yes, guilty as charged. The rest, thankfully not! What about you? And have you or your kids ever ordered academic papers?

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Thursday, November 27, 2008

The Charter for Compassion

Mumbai Under Attack

Terrible, terrible news from Mumbai. Terrorists strike at least eight different areas across the city. Our prayers are with you all.

Attacks of this ferocity in a major metropolitan city drive one to think of those who live in far-flung areas like the bordering towns of Pakistan. They are attacked everyday, and we have sadly grown accustomed to it all. Lives of those people are as precious as our own. So let that war be ours too.

Prayers.

Although we do not know anything about the attackers as yet, a group going by the name of the 'Deccan Mujahideen' has assumed responsibility. The common men and women on the streets, need to join hands during this time of trial. They must not fall into the terrorists' trap. A couple of pieces, concerning the on-going debate in India on 'Hindu' and 'Muslim' terror, were published in the Hindustan Times, just a couple of days back: Majority Appeasement and Our Terror, Their Terror. Do read, because India needs to focus on unity right now.

Prayers.

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Relevant link: Global Voices Online

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

A Glimpse of the Northern Areas of Pakistan...

...on popular demand! You will have to click on the thumbnails to see larger images. The camera I had at the time of this trip, was an extremely basic point-and-shoot model, hence, the unflattering colours (and it occured to me after the uploading exercise to "photoshop" them). There are some interesting things to note in the second and the second-last pictures. 





Also, two more pictures here.

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Monday, November 24, 2008

Islamophobia

Although this is being written in haste and hurt, it comes in peace.

I encountered a couple of pages here on blogspot (which I will not link to lest they invite troublemakers), and to my misfortune and hurt, discovered some contributors who love to hate Islam and Muslims. Despite my attempts to talk with reason and respect, I was bombarded with derogatory jargon and mudslinging. I couldn't be apologetic, so I quietly left.

The blame? Islam is imperialist; it promotes genocide, endorses slavery, looks down upon non-Muslims, and seeks to kill apostates; oh, but there's so much more...

Their sources? Al-Qaeda's philosophy, and "scholars" like Bernard Lewis and Salman Rushdie. Lewis is a strong reference for them because he hails from Princeton. And Rushdie is just so darn popular that Britain had to decorate him with knighthood.

I thought it my duty to at least help my own non-Muslim readers to see the other side of the coin and the other face of Islam. In "scholars" like Lewis, Muslims see a bias. Read, for instance, Scholarship or Sophistry? Bernard Lewis and the New Orientalism. As for Rushdie, his claim to fame has not been the quality and depth of his work; it has been the undue attention furious Muslims have so stupidly accorded him. Had they let him be, he would've been consumed by the seas of mediocrity. Ziauddin Sardar, in an interview with The News, has something interesting to say about him. My point is: don't look to the Osamas, the Lewis' and the Rushdies for your scoop on Islam. Look to its own scholars of calibre. Scholars like Ghamidi, who speak with reason and sense, who have their understandings and opinions grounded in primary sources, for anybody to check and verify, who do not choose to flow with the tide, who choose to steer of their own grit.

When I posted some photos from picturesque Pakistan, I was pleasantly surprised to have a fellow blogger comment, "Pakistan in a different light, and one that we never get to see, a picturesque Pakistan!" I felt the need to present Islam in a different light too. One that people don't usually get to see.

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I-am-sterdam

If going down under is too much of a hassle, Western Europeans can at least experience the 'Venice of the North': the city of Amsterdam. While we were touring across a handful of countries in Europe, our first stop was the capital city of the Netherlands. Our Schengen visas required that we make it our point of entry into Europe; and I can safely bet that had that not been the case, the city would not have been on our itinerary. Mostly, when people think about heading out to the continent, the must-see's are London, Paris, Rome, Venice, Vienna, Madrid, Barcelona, but hardly ever do time-constrained travellers bring Amsterdam into the itinerary. I must confess however, that it proved to be a condition, my husband and I, both, were glad was thrust upon us. Walking out of the Centraal Station, smack in the centre of town, we instantly fell in love with the city. While the rest of Europe - save Germany, perhaps - oozes of history, lock, stock and smoking barrels, the Netherlands is a toddler still.

Its architecture, driven by tax laws at the time, dates back to the seventeenth century. An ode to a rough policy (no offence): since they were taxed based on frontal footage of their houses, homeowners stumbled upon distinctive architecture. They built their townhouses deep and tall; what they couldn't afford in lavish measurements, they made up for with almost vertically-placed staircases. Up, up and up we go, the streams running gently down below. Yes! That part about the step-sibling, Venice. Amsterdam, too, has got its water, weaving an intense web of mud-coloured canals. Like its big sister, cars aren't that popular in the city. While boats and gondolas remain the face of the Italian princess, the Dutch-ess is an impressive rival with its exuberance for bicycles and trams.


We were, admittedly a bit iffy on the accomodation. Amsterdam is quite straining on the pocket, especially if you're a budget traveller, who wants to stay in the centre of town, steps away from the station, and because you plan to abuse your Eurail Pass as often as you want to.

Since we couldn't afford the classy decors, we found ourselves walking into a hotel, hidden somewhere beneath a Samsung scaffolding, on the Damrak (arguably, the busiest road there), connecting the Centraal to the Dam Square. The entrance and the ambience of the property were more than just a tad depressing, but the clean room and the uber-friendly staff more than made up for it. People in the country - the Dutch and an ensemble of all kinds of nationalities - were among the friendliest few we came across in our entire trip. So welcoming (which should not come as a surprise, given the historic, open-armed refuge they gave to the Jews during Hitler's tirade). An Italian concierge, on finding out about our plans to visit his country in the second leg of our trip, spent 20 odd minutes with us, keenness dripping with recommendations for the best hotels, the best beaches and the best localities. Another volunteered to print some train schedules that we needed. A third made up a plan for the entire day for us. And yet another, a Pakistani, offered and later, went on to leave his jacket at the front-desk for my husband, after finding out that the notorious KLM-Alitalia combo had lost our luggage. It was cold, and we were travelling from a temperature of 40 degrees celcius back home, so our attire was screaming summer beach, while Amsterdam was cold(ddd) and Den Haag was freez(zzz)ing!


While I'm writing short of recommendations for tourists (I might mull a travelogue to delve deeper), my point is: Amsterdam is unique, it is vibrant and electric (some would say, not children-friendly), young but every-inch European, and in my experience, a most underrated destination.

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik




Credits: The first image was picked from Wikipedia; the third, from http://the-q-family.blogspot.com. The middle one is from our own trip.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

My New Deodorant

It has been said all too much how the internet has altered not only our lifestyles, but the way businesses are run and advertised. I have wondered how it is, that whenever I sign in to Facebook these days, I get to see some very relevant advertisements. Recently, I've been spotting an ad for a body deodorant for women. No, the companies didn't discover a stench in me! The internet is still a far cry from using (and abusing) our sense of smell. My point is: it is never an ad for a brand not available in my country, and it is never a product for men. It is always for me.

There were times - back in the seventeenth century maybe - when advertising was limited to the Classified sections in newspapers. Gradually, imaging and colour crept in to add to the intrigue factor. This impacted not only potential consumers, but resulted in the development and consequently, the boom of a new industry. We were introduced to agencies that offered specialized services in creativity and marketing.

In came World War I, and the populations were introduced to advertisements of things beyond products and services. They were introduced to monitored propaganda through advertisements. There was not just the newspaper anymore; there was the theatre and the radio. And today, when television has become a necessity for every household (no point dissuading lower-income groups), whether we like it or not, whether we are bothered or not, we are bombarded by advertisements of cereals and cell phones, internet and washing powders, schools and milk products, whitening creams and pest-killing sprays. With marketing research as our solemnized alter ego, information assymetry is no longer. We do not have the luxury that was - to view or not to view the Classifieds. There are millions of web-based ventures and projects today that survive or thrive on advertising revenues alone. Such business models beckon networking sites like Facebook.

So coming back to Facebook, advertisements there are not the run-of-the-mill pop-up adds. If you are the company, organization or a person who wants people to know about something you're selling, or maybe just a blog such as this, you can very conveniently decide a target audience. There will be no casualties on the way. Only the people you'll be looking for, will be enticed to pay any attention to you whatsoever. The rest of the world will enjoy a well-earned slumber. You will tell Facebook that you want to advertise your deodorant to women, regardless of their relationship status, aged between 14 and 55, living in Pakistan. You will be told how many profiles your ad will appear on. And walaa!

This is not where user-generated ads end. Another social networking site, MySpace, is also engaging in Behavioural Targetting. If you are a music fanatic, you're likely to see an ad from Virgin on your profile; if you are a bookworm, a new best-seller is likely to reinforce its status by coming to you rather than the other way round; and so on...

And before the bell rings, I need you to know, I don't stink, but I'm using that deodorant now! And it helps my husband to know that even if I login to Facebook 30 times a day, I will never be able to click on a shaadi.com banner, not even for the kicks of it! Unless I put up a fake status, that is.

Hmm...

Hmm...

Hmm...

After all the bickering, we've found a glitch in the system: too many fake profiles! Does it render this kind of targetted advertising ineffective?

Copyright(c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Guest post: In Praise of Nothingness

I understand that to many, philosophical ruminations are the pastime of such hopeless idealists who cannot grapple with the realities of a world fraught with practical matters. Inconsequential as it may appear to them, I cannot help rhapsodizing about philosophical subjects. If nothing else, I can atleast flaunt my vocabulary and assuage my language-complex. So my very first post here is in praise of nothingness, and I praise nothingness by saying absolutely nothing about it.

The length of the post made me shamelessly revise my decision to say nothing. Probably, writing about worlds, ideas, things and people that never were and will never be, can serve as a starting point for praising nothingness; and an ending point too! And may be dilating on the most insignificant of events that corrugate our rosy lives will help in some measure. By the way, if my English doesn't dazzle you, the word for life in French is "vie" and this is not the only word of French that I know. After this tantalizing digression, let me clamber back to the title of this post. Which "ideas" never were and will never be? The problem with answering this question is that the very act of responding will negate what I actually want to convey. What quandary! An easy way out: whatever ideas never were and will never be, my praise to thee.

"People" can be handled with less strain on the mind. My sister never was and will never be, my love to thee. My brother-in-law will never be, by the grace of God, and had he been, he would have been one lucky dude! My maternal uncle never was; an interesting relationship it would have been. There are some other fascinating possibilities that I better not dwell on lest I be charged with insensitivity. Just to give one example, my second wife never was and will...

"Things" and "worlds", I believe, are risky categories in terms of the future, but let me attempt a scenario. A world where all the knowledge and experience residing in one person's mind could be transferred to another person's mind, such a world never was and had it been, countless Motzarts and Bismillah Khans could be produced. And what about the novelty value, you may ask. Good question; go find the answer.

Coming to the insignificant events in our lives, the other day, I kept staring at the list of telephone extension numbers tacked to a board in my office. It was an updated version and I wanted to confirm if my designation was changed to reflect my superior status. It wasn't! A mild disappointment was soon drowned out by a fusillade of thoughts on matters I was supposed to attend to, but was postponing unjustifiably. Should I first pray or eat was a conundrum that occupied my mind for a short while. There is much more that is more significantly insignificant than what has been written. But I spare thee!

Copyright (c) 2008 Razi Allah Lone

Monday, November 17, 2008

Pakistan's Polio Fatwa

Last year, 24,000 children in the country were refused vaccinations on the call of the clergy, who declared the medicine un-Islamic! As a result, Pakistan is, today, one of only 4 countries in the world, where the disease in still endemic. Two of the other three, share borders with us - India and Afghanistan. While I'm not sure of the reasons behind the failing status of the latter two, I am thinking they too probably have something to do with illiteracy and the unequivocal faith resting in the equivocal characters in our societies - namely, the "ulema (clerics)", who insist on not embracing times and progression, or even common sense.

The three reasons given for opposing polio vaccines?

- They render little boys sterile, because they contain progesterone;
- They contain lard;
- They signify that we are trying to artificially combat God-willed adversities!

The second has been an all-time favourite of the clerics, and should not be dignified with a response. But the first and the third reasons cited, wreak of absolute madness. Progesterone? Why would Polio vaccinations contain progesterone, and if they would, how could a couple of drops cause sterility in little boys! Get this secret out, and that hellish gender-change industry will have a run for its money; nay, be doomed.

And that we should not try to combat difficulties (because they are a part of God's plans) is my favourite. What it essentially means is that these clerics are basically in favour of no medication at all - for prevention or cure. Because whatever the disease or ailment is, it is God's trial, and ought to be persevered with a writ so strong, that all the Pfizers, Bayers and Wyeths should shudder at the thought of Muslim domination in the world (as if we don't already have enough on our plates, thanks to these offshoots). The poor children who are suffering from Polio today, as a result of their ignorance, spark no compassion in the brady bunch. Maybe, stripping them of wool in winters this time around will.

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Shining India?

I'm beginning to wonder if the Indians are going way over their heads these days. I'm all for friendship, but it peeves me now to see them blowing their own trumpet, endlessly and shamelessly. For the last few years, our ears have gone dry, listening to shouts of "Shining India", despite the separatist elements, the massacres, the Mumbai slums...

Now, there's more. A few examples:

Mr. Chakravarty of the Hindustan Times (Waiting for Obama's Call) was going bonkers over an anticipated call to his PM from U.S. President-elect Obama. And what annoyance that he called Mr. Zardari and a few other leaders before he ever got through to Manmohan Singh. Bummer! He missed an important rite of passage by not calling India first. India is shining.

The Hindustan Times again, and this time, its Mr. Thappar (Obama or 'Oh bummer'?), crying fowl over Obama's expected foreign policy on Kashmir, because it seems more in line with Pakistan's demand for an intervention. But of course, if they can't let in international observers easily, how could they allow mediation. India can go it alone, because India is shining.

Now for Mr. Bachchan and his blog. On the day when the media around the world was going ecstatic over a black man in the white house, our superstar did the research and managed to make it all about India, going on to quote a not-so-ecstatic response: "So, we can be partially progressive while still following and passing regressive policies. Segregation of color in America is not abolished! India is a far fairer democracy! Here even the so called untouchables have representation. They are considered; one of them may well be Prime Minister one day ! The US still isn’t the land of the free after all…".

Then there is mention of that evening in 1969, when the first man landed on the moon. And today, so has India's spacecraft, lodging its tricolor on the moon. Instantly, he is corrected.

No sir, don't get carried away! India is shining, but its spacecraft hasn't yet landed on the moon (it was, in fact, the Moon Investigation Probe), nor is there a flag as yet.

Having the chance to take pride in one's country is something very special. But trying to rub it in harder than it warrants, takes away any shine that might have been.

Copyright (c) 2008 Saadia Malik